He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
