Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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