I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
