Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
