member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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