Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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