What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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