she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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