be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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