saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
