So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
