it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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