she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize