Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
