The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
