Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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