what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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