Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were trust falling into bushes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
