On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
