everyone is single if you try hard enough
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
