I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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