My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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