were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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