haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
