We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
