I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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