She said her name was "party"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Im part way to drunk.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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