My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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