So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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