hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
