New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
