I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
