Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
