Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
