I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
