Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
