Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
