Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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