He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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