make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
