the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
