Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize