No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Bring me that man meat
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm both gender and math confused
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
