I want to stick my p in your. b.
420 ftw
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize