To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
