I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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