the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
