I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
