Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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