My hand turned me down
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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