my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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