is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
