There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
