I think I won the penis lottery.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
