u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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