under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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